Leaked Memo: Project Management Issues for a Hero

Here is a rough translation of an internal memo to Hiro Nakamura (from NBC’s new television show Heroes). It is from the project management office of Yamagoto Industries.

While the PMO has been enthusiastically trying to recruit Hiro for a project management job, the memo points out two areas where Hiro needs to improve his project management skills.

These are lessons all project managers face.

The memo begins

Hiro, you have done it again. I urge you to consider a position as a project manager. Your unique abilities make you very well qualified for a project management job.

In the spirit of constructive criticism to improve your potential performance while in service to our company, let me point out two issues you need to overcome in your project management skills. These are common problems in project management, experienced by many project managers, both novices and experts. I am sure you can surmount these challenges in no time (for you, literally) with the proper project management training and coaching,

Communication Problems in Projects
Like many project managers, upon reaching a milestone, the joy was yours alone. Moreover, your joy quickly turned to frustration when your accomplishment simply landed you in hot-water with the people around you.

You soon found yourself in a situation where you were in trouble and unable to communicate with those around you. It was like you were speaking a different language.

You couldn’t answer anyone’s questions. You weren’t able to help anyone around you, including yourself. And nobody seemed to care about the successful completion of your milestone. In fact, it was your success that got you into trouble.

I am, of course, referring to your teleporting to New York City and soon winding up in a police station suddenly finding yourself held responsible for something you didn’t do and that was only tangentially related to your initial project.

Welcome to the world of project management.

Improving your communication skills should be a top project priority for you upon accepting a position with our project management office.

Wishing Won’t Make It Go Away (Usually)
Like many project managers, you saw a massive disaster approaching, well after it was too late to do anything about. And, like many project managers, you shut your eyes tightly to make it go away.

Unlike most project managers, though, in your case, it worked. Well, I’m actually not sure if it worked, but you certainly seemed to be successful in extricating yourself from the situation before you caught any flack.

This is a most prized skill among the elite of the project management world, and of the corporate world in general.

You have garnered the envy of many in upper management. I urge you to apply your natural abilities to job it seems you were born to do.

Come speak to me soon in the project management office: 34th floor, room 17, Yamagoto Industries.

So ends the internal memo.

If you didn’t see the show, in the second point, the author was referring to the blast of a nuclear bomb exploding outside the window of the police station where Hiro was being questioned. He looked at it. Shut his eyes. And poof (or bamf) was back on a subway in Tokyo, well out of harms way. A great skill indeed.

For those without Hiro’s amazing abilities, tools like project management software can give you the control, reports and visibility you need to see disasters in the making, before they have chance to demolish your project. You may even have a chance to solve the problem before you need to delicately extricate yourself or backpedal to safe your career.

          

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 at 7:35 pm and is filed under Project Management Software, Workplace, Project Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.